New haircut?

Since I'm feeling the need to change lots of things in my life, I'm gonna considering a new haircut also. I've had my current "style" since I was 15 or 16, and I think it's kind of out of style now. I'm gonna look at some other hair dos, so if you have any suggestions, let me know...

Possibly a Mohawk? Mullet? Put them together for a Mull-hawk?

Want a million dollars?

If you can find an efficient algorithm for an NP-complete problem, the Clay Math Institute in Cambridge will give you a million dollars. Alright, get to work...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P_versus_NP

Isn't it great being married to someone who's recklessly impulsive?

So my wife has been asking me to shave my mustache for a while now. Now a little history is needed to understand how big this is. I haven't shaved my mustache, EVER. The closest I've been is trimming it really short and that was by accident while experimenting with a new electric razor. I also nearly lost an eyebrow that morning. Any who, I brought up the idea to a friend at my work and she was convinced that I should do it. She said that my only options were to shave it off or grow it long so that I can look evil and dastardly when I twirl the ends of it. Her brother is a musician, and I told her that if he would write a song about my stache, I would shave it. Well, being that I am at times ridiculously impulsive, I shaved it off anyway. This was the same night I got a new set of reading glasses. Since I was advised to wear them when I read, work on the computer and even drive at night. I find myself wearing them a lot. In the spirit of change, I'm trying to decide if there is anything else I should change about my look. Any ideas?

I can't seem to upload the song here, so if you want to hear "Mustache Time" by Brad Zygai, give me your email address and I'll send it to you.

More fake motivational posters...

So bloody bored

I'm so bored, I can't even think straight. My humor tank has been emptied trying to salvage this stupid excuse for a "day". I need a drink. It's not even 5 o'clock. Look something shiny! Later...

Unchain my heart... actually, I'd prefer my butt being unchained from this chair...

I'm stuck up here at the front desk of my work. Trapped. Trapped like a rat. Actually, rats require a bribe, like food, to be trapped. I'm trapped like a fin-less fish on the beach. I want to get out and enjoy the outdoors. Literally, anything out side of doors. The freaking sidewalk would be a welcome change...

My supervisor is gone so I'm stuck working from 7:30 to 5. Typically I'm too busy to get a full lunch and work about 10 hours a day. Then I get to go home and I'm with my kids and wife until 8 or 8:30 at which point I've been awake for almost 16 hours and can barely keep my eyes open long enough to make sure I don't poke my eye out with the remote and accidently change the channel with my fork. I can't wait for the day when I can have alone time in my patrol car and just think for a few mintues every know and then. I like being busy and I love my family, but my alone time nowadays is less than nothing. I can't even pee without my son barging in or someone at work waiting outside the stall door saying, "By the way, I wanted to ask you... (insert project with outrageous numbers and requirements in impossible time period)"

What have I become?

If you've read more than 1 post on here, you'll know that I'm not normal. In fact, one of my biggest pet peeves is being lumped into some generalized group set within certain confines. Something about begin so easily defined really irks me. I'm a complicated person and I don't fit into those kind of parameters. There are times when I say things or do things that even has my wife going, "Huh?" and she knows me better than anyone. There are times when I find myself doing things simply to NOT fit in. However, Tuesday night at 8:59, that all changed...
I gave in, gave up and went along with the crowd. Yes mom, all my friends jumped off the bridge and I jumped too. I fit in the box now, I can now take personality tests in crappy magazine and feel like it describes me to a "t". I can read studies and know that I am one of 67% of people who do this when this happens.
What did I do you ask?
I'm afraid to tell because you may never look at me the same.
Promise not to laugh.
PROMISE!!!
Pinky swear?
Ok, here it is:
I voted for my favorite American Idol.
OH MY HELL!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?! May God forgive me and have grace on my soiled soul...

You have the right to remain BURNED!!!!

Someone found this in a University Parking lot...
Glad she just left a note. Imagine if she had waited by this chick's car for her! She'd probably take a tire iron to her...

Suspended? I've never even heard that word in the same sentence as my name...

So I joined my brother's hockey team a few months ago, and boy was that a wake up to how out of shape I am. I've been exercising a lot more, and my stamina is about twice as much as it used to be, but I didn't realize how in shape my brother is to do all that. He's a freak of nature to skate for an hour at 110%, literally. Now, for those of you who know, I stopped playing hockey after I lost 2 teeth not too long before my sixteenth birthday. However, I've been coaching my brother's team for a long time and he really wanted me to join his team, and reluctantly I did. My brother is the best player on the team, and while I'm nowhere NEAR as good as he is, I'm not in the bottom half either. I'm a fence straddler...
My first game, I played defense cause I didn't have the stamina to keep going up on offense and then back checking on defense. I got burned 3 times and had three goals scored when my line was out. Then someone told me that's the opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing. "Wait, I'm NOT supposed to let them score? CRAP!". I like to call that "Things that would have been nice to know yesterday." My brother gave me some pointers and showed me a few things, which is weird cause I've been teaching him since he was 7 or 8. But the kid's good and I'm not gonna argue with someone who will play professional roller hockey next year, and will probably play in the junior Olympics. I may be dumb, but I ain't stoopid. The next game I broke up 6 or 7 plays including a few 2 on 1's, pulled a Sidney Crosby style move faking out a defense man by turning my back to him, bouncing the puck off the boards, and spinning around him, and later in the game, scored a back handed goal. I was really looking forward to last night's game and hoping to score at least one more goal. Well, we played a team called the Colorado Cons, and not as in con-artists. My player says that one of the guys just got out of jail for murder, no joke. Hmmmm... kinda scary, but ok. I played a solid 4 minutes in the first period and then I went out for the last 3 or so minutes of the period. Well, time's up and the whistle blows. My brother has the puck on the boards and this guy takes both hands and hits him in the back of the head, face first into the glass. (Quick interruption; this league? It's for adults, but not like professional adults. It's an adult rec league, but in reality it's a league for people who've never played and some people who are kinda good.) My brother takes one hand and shoves the guy(#43) off. #43 grabs my brother's stick and hits him across the stomach and starts swinging on him with one hand, and drops the stick trying to grab my brother's jersey to pull him into his punches with the other. I immediately skate over and shove #43 and he hits me in the face mask. What seemed like an eternity later, the referees showed up and pulled us apart. He got thrown out for that game and his next game. The bad news? The rink has a no tolerance policy for fighting and established a "3rd man in" rule for fighting; basically stating that if you enter a fight as the 3rd man, it's an immediate game misconduct and a "game and a game" suspension, interpreted: I got thrown out of last night's game and tonight's game. Major suckness. I'd like to think that if I knew I was going to get thrown out, I would have just shot in on the guy, taken him to the ground and beat his head in; but I know that's not the truth. I'm not that kind of person, I just wanted to protect my brother, which is why I never threw a punch. In reality, I never even connected much with my shoves, I just distracted him long enough for my brother to skate off and get the refs in. I'm upset that I'm missing the game tonight, but I'm glad that I was able to protect my brother. He's a crap-load bigger than me, but he's a total softy. He never even threw a punch either, he was just gonna keep dodging them til the refs came. My fear was that this guy just wanted to take him out of the game by hurting him, so I stepped in. I'm not a brawler, but I know that one day soon, when I'm a cop, there's gonna be a lot of fights I'll be in, and I'm kinda glad that I got a little experience and I'm not afraid to defend those who can't (in this case won't) defend themselves. That's my heart-touching story of the day... later.

If music were the language we spoke...

I think a normal conversation would sound something like this:

"Hello? Is it me you're looking for?"
"Should I stay or should I go?"
"Please stay."
"This ain't a scene, it's an arms race."
"I'll be watching you."
"I can't stop loving you."
"My heart will go on."


Please feel free to continue this conversation.

It's important to laugh... especially when you can identify with some of these.

I hate sick people

Sick people are the most miserable people on the face of the earth. They're always whining about how everything hurts, "I don't want to get up", make me chicken soup, rub my feet, waaaah waaaah wahhhh... yeah, you guessed it, I've finally succumb to this ungodly flu going around. I was doing so good keeping it at bay, but my body and my mind disagreed on that apparently. Crapdamn. As I write this I'm sucking down Alkaseltzer like it was the cure for cancer. Maybe I can make the best of a crappy situation and figure out a way to infect those who irritate me today. Beware office companions of the random misplaced tissue today... *bwa ha ha ha* (cough) (cough) (hacking lung biscuits) (CHOKING!!) SOMEONE HELP! Never mind, it was just a loogie the size of a croquet ball. I'm good... for now.