8 Minutes

While I ate new delicious Quizno's Lil' Sammie, I noticed that the parking meter in front of me had 8 minutes still on it and there was no one parked in front of it. At first I was perplexed, why would you waste that 10 cents? You really couldn't stay parked for another 8 minutes? Where's the fire?

Then I thought to myself, why don't I do some people-watching, my all-time favorite past time. So here's what I saw in 8 minutes:

First of all I had a weird flashback to the Quizno's sponge monkeys (pictured). I'm so happy that these little demon spawn no longer pollute the airwaves with their songs and weird bouncing antics. K, so back to what I witnessed watching humanity race by for 480 seconds...

A guy with a Santa Claus beard who parked in "the spot" for all of 30 seconds and then decided to leave.

1 Jeep with lots of accessories for mud-holin' and 4 wheeling, but no dirt or mud on it. I like to think that he just likes to clean it when he's done. I mean, it's a Jeep thing. I wouldn't understand, right?

Another person park in "the spot" and pick up 2 people who seemed very happy to see him who also left quickly thereafter. Not sure why they were so happy, I'm still working on a theory that involves some funny combination like a pogo stick and a monkey wearing pantyhose...

One lady who stopped talking with the man she was walking with to eye my Sammies (grrrrrr..... keep walking)

2 identical Land Rovers (same color even) driving side-by-side as the drivers stared at jaw-dropped-amazement at each other. I'm not a businessman, but maybe in some crazy scheme to make a profit they made more than 1 cream colored Land Rover? So I guess that means I also witnessed 1 near accident since they weren't looking where they were going.

1 young businessman trying to impress some prospective clients with his shiny new suit and shoes. He should have tailored the suit though cause the pants were too short and revealed that he was wearing one brown sock...

Yet another car park in "the spot". This time, the man driving parked and his wife pointed as something so he turned back into traffic and nearly hit a woman turning the corner. Make that 2 near accidents. She saluted him with one finger but he was too focused on pleasing his angry wife to notice...

1 lady giving a hobo a ride. How nice. I mean, he shouldn't have to walk to take his "Need Money For Food" change to buy a bottle of Jack Daniel's...

3 different people smoking. I guess with all the bans this will be a rarity soon. I with they would just get it over with and ban everything else that's fun but bad for you. No more red meat, grease, sugar, milk, alcohol (that "Prohibition" thing turned out great...), sex and Chinese finger traps. I hate smoking, don't get me wrong. I hate the smell; I hate that I smell when someone else decides to suck down a cancer stick, but I don't get my panties in a wad. Let em smoke! The only reasons provided for banning it are that it's unhealthy and annoying to people around them. Again, drinking and eating chili aren't healthy and annoying to the people around you. Cowboy up and git yer nose out of other people's lungs...

A guy in a black Lincoln park in "the spot", look around look at his watch, wait 5 seconds and then leave. Again, I'm looking on the bright side and hoping that he was just in a hurry and not a drug dealer. He looked like Sam Eagle from the Muppet's, he couldn't be a drug dealer...

Santa Claus Beard guy and Jeep guy drive by the window again. Hmmmm.....

TIME!!! During that little exercise I also witnessed approximately 58 "normal" people just going about their daily business, one of them carrying a concealed handgun (not doing a good job), 3 tripping on the same crack in the sidewalk, 15 on cell phones and/or iPod (one guy actually pulled one ear phone out and answered his phone. How can you do both at the same time?), and no one seeing what I saw...

Sometimes you just have to stop and watch the freaks. I mean, how else do we stay sane?