Too long for a comment

Maria, you are the furthest thing from alone. I feel EXACTLY the way you do. It's so frustrating to feel like you want to do something so bad but you can't, and you don't know what to do in the interim. I am so frustrated with my job right now and my boss, it makes me want to scream (which is what I usually do when I'm in my car alone). I think about being a cop all day, every day. I'm feel hopeful waking up knowing that I'm one day closer to the academy, but sick at the same time that it's not today. I wish you the best and hope that you find whatever it is that you're looking for. I'm still looking too...