Reason 5,367,475 I hate my job. Also referred to as, "Why people call lawyers a**holes."

Our receptionist is out today doing stuff for school. So I got stuck up at the front desk again. I've finally resorted to reading up here because I can't stand to read one more article about Clay Aiken impregnating a 50 year old woman. (WTF?)
Anyway, one of the first calls I got this morning was from a guy looking for an attorney and he made it abundantly clear that it was an emergency by the tone in his voice. Oh yeah, he also made it clear by saying it was an emergency 4 times before I could get any response out. I called the attorney; no answer. His secretary is gone, so I tell him, "I'm sorry, I can't reach him and his secretary is gone, would you like his voicemail?"
"NO! I NEED to speak to him. Is he in the office today?"
"I don't have any notes about him being gone, but let me have someone look for him."
I call back to my supervisor and have her run upstairs to look for this guy. She tells me that he's not in today. I tell homeboy, he's not in and try to ask him if there's someone else who might be able to help him. I get interrupted and told, "Look! This is very important and I want you to listen very carefully to me." At this point, I'm ready to just hang up the phone and quit, but for whatever I continued to endure being spoken to like a retarded 4 year old with a hearing problem.
"Are you listening to me? This is what I need you to do. I'm a client! You received a fax from WIPO..."
I know what WIPO stands for, but he proceeds to spell it out and then slowly pronounce each syllable of the full name. Still fighting the urge to scream the first expletive that entered my mind coupled with a random noun-adjective pairing like "monkey-licking" I continued to listen. "I NEED that fax sent to so and so, spelled ..... and ME the CLIENT spelled...."
Now I'm plotting the ways to butcher the names and make it look like someone else sent the faxes.
"So I need a partner or someone who can make that happen. Do you understand me?"
My first instinct is to say, "I'm sorry, I don't speak English." with no accent at all. However, I give in and say, "Yes, let me see if I do that for you."
Long story long, I find the fax and say, "I have the fax in my hand, what are the fax numbers I need to send this to?" Apparently he's shocked that I was intelligent enough to accomplish such a monumental task, like reading the name on a fax...
"You found it? You have it? It's from WIPO? W-I-P-O? World.... In-tell-ec-tual... Prop-er-ty... Or-gan-i-za-tion?"
"Yes, what numbers do I need to send it to?" I answered with as much sarcasm as I could muster feeling proud of showing this pompous windbag that you don't need a law degree to have a functioning brain. So Mr. Dumbass tells the person behind him, "Hey! Leo! The young lady on the phone here has it. What's your fax number?"
Never in my life have I been so humiliated and angry at the same time. How did I not even have the gonads to correct him by telling him I'm a man? No idea. I figured it wasn't worth my time. I hear that patience is essential to being a cop. I'm guessing this will only serve to help me when I'm being yelled at and called, "a pig who uses excessive force on poor helpless people cause I got picked on in school and need to bully someone to make up for a lack of sack." Then I get to help when they call 911 cause that same helpless person has broken into their house and held a gun to their head, but now they're angry cause, "the 5-0 ain't never around when you need 'em."

God I can't wait for it... seriously, I'm counting the days. If I quit when I'm thinking I will, it's exactly 75 days away. The question is do I have the patience to make another 75 days... only time will tell.


Peace out