Ok, I stole this from a local radio show, but I think it's a good point to build on. Since I'm not even in the universe as "cool", I always feel left out when I see a genuinely cool person. Then I see all these people doing idiotic things they think are cool, and it makes me feel better. So here's my very short list of things cool people DON'T do.
Cool people don't:
Spend $40,000 on a convertible and ride with the top down, and the windows up.
On the same note, they don't put accessories on their car that cost as much as the car. Specifically, all you idiots who put spoilers on your 1994 Dodge Neon. Don't race me either; I don't have the fastest car ever, but Josh Blue could outrun your car. Google Josh Blue if you don't know who he is.
Wear $3 flip flops from Old Navy and carry fake Gucci bags. You're wearing jeans from the Target clearance rack and you want me to believe you're carrying a $2,000 Chanel and Company handbag? I didn't fall off the turnip truck... I was pushed...
Wear clothes from the opposite sex. This pretty much applies to guys, specifically of the Emo persuasion. I get it, you can stuff your junk into girl's pants. I'm supposed to be impressed by that? I must have missed how wearing pants that used to be called "Capri's" are now cool for guys to wear.
Scream, "Don't tase me bro!"
Have long hair when they're balding. Seriously, just shave it. I'd rather look at a misshapen head than a comb over. The worst is the bald on top and long hair in the back, which I think looks like an egg wearing a hula skirt.
Whistle annoying songs that get stuck in other people's heads.
Feel free to add your own. Really, I want to continue this, but I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest...
1 comment:
...piss their own pants!
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