Another day, another 29 cents...

I have to say that I know it seems like I'm this angry, bitter person who does nothing but post his gripes, but I hope you that I'm not. I have lots of things I enjoy, especially humor. I try to keep a positive view on things, but I love sarcastic, cutting humor. So just know that I am a happy person with a dark and somewhat twisted sense of humor...

Speaking of things I enjoy, I love music. I love nothing more than driving down the road, blaring my favorite bands, and just rocking out, even when people give you those weird looks. As I've said before, I am a musician and I always laugh at people when I can hear their music in their car and watch them "play" along with it, not keeping time even close to correct or singing so off key you plug your dog's ears. Then I think, wait a minute... I do that to, but I know what I'm doing. Do other people think I'm as stupid as I think that guy is?

Hmmm... these are things that keep me awake at night. Along with how I'm gonna fulfill my lifelong dream of creating a monkey band. Little monkey drummer, little monkey guitarist, little monkey keyboard player... COME ON! Is that brilliant or what?!?!

See my lifelong dream for the better part of my life was to be a professional musician, or even a superstar in the country world; but I guess I've realized that's just not what I want to do forever. I used to do music for my old churches, for about 6 years or so, and I loved it. I loved being part of band, practicing, jamming, and of course I loved the popularity that came with it. I'm not gonna lie and say that I didn't like it, but it certainly wasn't all fun and games. It came with a lot of responsibilities and pressures which made it not so fun. It made it work.

I had always wanted to be a recording artist and tour professionally. I even had a producer who wanted to record with me. We did all the work, planned for everything from the CD's name and theme, to artwork and song choices. Then he moved (for good reasons I will say), but I've never felt so lost in my whole life. I felt as though I was finally gonna do what I enjoyed and it got ripped out from under me. Then I began to think, why did I want it? I thought I had all the right answers, the pious one (I want to make music that makes people feel good) the good one (It's what I love) and then I came to the real one, or as I call it, the self-centered one (I want to be famous. I want people to know my name. I want to be called "The best thing ever", I want, I want, I want...).

When I realized that I loved doing it for all the wrong reasons, I gave it up. Six months later, I left my church and my duties as music director and I even left a $2500 guitar they bought me and the $500 worth of accessories that went with it. So, was it the right choice?

I've never been happier. I have more time with my family, more time at home, and more time to pursue my personal goals, both personally and professionally. Now I'm gonna chase me real dream of serving people as a police officer. I've served people all my life and I love helping people. So, is it worth it to chase your dreams?

Damn right it is...


Until next time...